3 Reasons Why You Can’t Change
Most people want to change, but find themselves doing the same thing over and over again. If this has been your cycle you are not alone. Here are 3 reasons why you repeat the same behaviors.
You are running on autopilot. Though you think it’s “you” who makes decisions, most of the time your behaviors are just hardwired patterns. These patterns become habits. When behaviors are habit, it means we are doing them without a second thought. The subconscious runs these habits for you, but it comes at a price. In this situation you miss out on choice. Only though mindfulness can you tune in and choose a different reaction in any given situation. If you don’t know if you’re running on autopilot ask these questions: Are you often lost in thought? Do you often feel regret over knee jerk emotional reactions? Do you feel desperate to do differently but fail to perform?
Acknowledge that you’ve enjoyed comfort over true change. This one is hard for many people because it is thought that being miserable is enough to want to do differently. To overcome your habits you must understand that even though you view them as negative, they do serve you in many ways. If you’re on autopilot you can’t feel the void in your marriage, the job you hate, or the disconnect you feel with your family. It helps you perform your roles in this world without confronting the feelings that come with them. There is a comfort in knowing exactly how your day will go. If you face the reality that you might be underperforming to keep yourself comfortable, you allow yourself the possibility of change to address the emotions you’ve long overlooked.
Introduce the body to the mind. There is no disconnect between the mind and body, but for most people they are completely unaware of each other. To change you have to purposely work for the two to align. This looks different for each person but it means choosing physical and mental wellness each day. The mind needs proper nutrition, meditation, mindfulness, and examination of thoughts. The body needs physical work in whatever form you like best (yoga, hiking, HIIT.). Choices need to be made to nuture both over an extended period of time. Through this practice you develop intuition. Your body will begin to tell you when it’s tired or needs more work. You mind will tell you when it’s stressed or when it’s balanced.